Signs You’re in Survival Mode like Gloria Simmons
Are You Just Getting By?
Sometimes, after going through traumatic events like the death of a loved one, an accident, or any major loss, we stop truly living and start simply surviving. Survival mode after trauma is when you're so overwhelmed or stressed that you're just trying to make it through each day. While it can help you cope in the short term, staying in that state too long can harm your mental and physical well-being.
In Shattered, Yet Unbroken, Gloria’s world falls apart after losing her husband in a mass shooting and then their home to a fire. Once hopeful and full of dreams, she begins to live only for the sake of her children. Trying to stay strong, she becomes a shell of herself, just getting by.
Sadly, Gloria Simmons’ story is a reflection of what many families silently go through. This checklist highlights the signs that you or someone you know might be stuck in survival mode without realizing it.
10 Signs that Gloria Simmons was Stuck in Survival Mode
1. Lack of Focus or Concentration
Struggling to focus or concentrate because the brain is tired, overwhelmed, and more focused on staying safe than thinking clearly or paying attention.
In the story: at her first session with Dr. Tim, Gloria admitted she has found it difficult to focus since her husband died. And even at the shelter, she often scrolls mindlessly on her phone without paying attention.
2. Sleep Problems
Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep happens because your body is on high alert, making it hard to relax. Your mind keeps racing, with high-stress levels, and not being able to fully switch off even when you’re tired.
In the story: At the shelter home, Gloria is always awake at midnight with a racing mind.
3. Emotional Numbness
Feeling emotionally detached, distant, or unable to fully experience emotions because your brain is trying to protect you from feeling too much. It shuts down your emotions, so you don’t get overwhelmed, but can also make you feel disconnected and empty.
In this story: Gloria often hid her emotions (fear, confusion, anger) and tried to appear strong, especially around her children, whenever they talked about their present situation at the shelter.
4. Anxiety and Depression
This happens because the mind is always stressed and doesn’t get a chance to rest or feel safe. You may feel anxious because the brain is stuck in “alert” mode, always expecting something bad. You may feel depressed because you’re tired, hopeless, and not enjoying life anymore.
In this story: Glory often reaches for her phone when anxious and is constantly on alert. She also bites her fingernails, which is a common way people cope with anxiety.
5. Avoidance
When you’re overwhelmed or emotionally exhausted, your brain tries to protect you by avoiding anything that feels stressful or uncertain. You may find yourself avoiding people, places, or conversations and distracting yourself with social media, sleep, etc.
In this story: after her first session with Dr. Tim Avery, Gloria realized she had been avoiding talking about her past, lost dreams, and even saying her husband’s name loudly. For the first time, she allowed herself to face it all in that room.
6. Lack of Motivation
Feeling unmotivated to pursue goals or engage in hobbies happens because your mind focuses on getting through the day, not goals or growth.
In this story: Gloria lets go of her dream of becoming a Robotic Engineer since her husband died because she feels it doesn't matter anymore.
7. Exhaustion
A constant feeling of tiredness and fatigue, even after enough rest, happens because your body and mind are always under pressure. This is often caused by lack of sleep, bottled-up emotions, and ongoing stress.
In this Story: Gloria’s body often aches from exhaustion, even when just getting out of bed.
8. Difficulty Making Decisions
You hesitate or overthink before making decisions because you’re constantly stressed, and your brain is focused on getting through the moment. You try to stay safe and not take risks, so you doubt yourself or avoid making choices.
In this story: Gloria couldn’t make a decision when Karen told her about the Rebuild program, which offers her a second chance at studying Robotic Engineering because she was afraid of making the wrong choice.
9. Forgetfulness
Struggling to remember things or complete tasks. It is difficult to remember things because your brain is too stressed and tired to think clearly. You’re busy worrying, and low on energy, and it is hard to pay attention or stay on track.
In this story: During her interview at Techforce Industries, Gloria struggled to answer a question she had responded to many times before because she couldn’t remember.
10. Feeling Hopeless and Self-doubt
You no longer believe things will get better, and you constantly question your worth, choices, or ability to move on. This happens because constant stress wears you down, making it hard to see progress, purpose, or believe in yourself.
In this story: when Gloria got another chance to take a program in Robotic Engineering, she didn’t believe she could do it, and was smart enough.
Tips on how to begin stepping out of survival and into healing
Stepping out of survival mode into healing is a gradual process, so you need to be patient and take action:
Acknowledge you’re in survival mode
Be gentle with yourself: give yourself grace
Focus on self-care and nourish your body
Learn to slow down when you’re stressed
Don’t be ashamed to express how you feel
Create a routine to give yourself a sense of safety
Find little moments of joy or peace
Focus on small goals to boost your confidence
Seek support
Conclusion
Gloria was stuck in survival mode but didn’t realize it. The sleepless nights, emotional numbness, and fear of starting over showed she was barely surviving. Recognizing the signs of being stuck can help you understand your struggles and those around you. If you think you or someone you care about is stuck in survival mode, look out for these signs. The healing process starts by reaching out for help.